Saturday, August 17, 2019
She’s a Dreamer – Creative Writing
I glanced over my shoulder and felt a presence lurking, looming behind me. I sniffed and for that one moment my worries flew away. Candy floss. It smelt of a sweet, soft, sugary treat that my sisters and I only received on special occasions. I heard a swear word and turned around to find a group of ââ¬Ëtough' boys behind me, they were speaking in low, deep, gruff voices. I listened in, making sure I wasn't being too obvious. They were chatting about the new roller coaster here at the theme park. The terrifying ride was called The Evaporator; it lasted only seconds but it went up, down, upside down and all around. I glanced up noticing the bloody red sign hovering above a crowd of innocent children and teenagers with a few adults among them. Should I risk going on a roller coaster for the first time in my life, without my mother by my side or should the public around me, mostly consisting of my high school peers, witness me going on the babyish rides with my sisters? I shook my head at the thoughts trekking through my mind and through the corner of my right eye saw my little sister, Lucy almost reading my mind and shaking her head and telling me ââ¬Å"No, No. â⬠But something was telling me the opposite ââ¬Å"Yes, Yes. I nodded my head without any hesitation and I saw the upset on her face. She stomped her feet in protest and I dropped her clutching hand from mine. She glanced at me, her older sister not doing as the little one says, and teardrops dribbled down her cheeks falling of the end of her chin. I had to make this accomplishment, for me. If I had got to the age of 50 and still not boarded a roller coaster carriage then I would be so disappointed and angry with myself. My older sister smiled, a smile aimed in my direction and wiped little Lucy's eye with a rough, green paper towel she had in her rucksack. I smiled back but it soon disappeared. I stepped under the sign and took a deep breath as I joined the queue. As we were herded forward like cattle I thought about my life and what point in life I was at. I glanced over my shoulder again and it seemed my life was passing by. I was the rollercoaster. I was going up, down and all around. I saw the birth of my sister, Lucy, then the birth of my youngest sibling, Emily, the divorce of my parents and finally, most recently my father starting his sentence in prison. I blinked my delicate, beautiful blue eyes and I came out of myâ⬠¦ daydream. A bloke directly behind me croaked ââ¬Å"What are you staring at? â⬠I turned back around, ignoring the man's remark. As we were travelling toward the track, I clenched my fist and squeezed my eyes shut, for reasons unknown. I took a deep breath and was spinning, spinning, spinning in circles. I heard crashes, which startled me enough for me to come out of my trance. The crashes had happened both in my spell and in reality. The ââ¬Ëtough' boys I was eavesdropping on earlier were denting the sign advertising the rollercoaster. My focus was drawn to the word evaporator, the word that had remained undented. It was to do with the word evaporate, I knew that, but I was puzzled at the unusualness of the name. There was just a large group of seven in front of me, and then it was my turn I pondered, as I shuffled forward, nearly suffocating the male in front. They were all being loaded on, three per aisle, as I noticed one girl, roughly three years younger than me, gesture for me to come and sit on a spare seat on her aisle. I shook my head, delaying my turn on The Evaporator. But as I did so, I instantly changed my mind, thinking it was better to get it over and done with. But my reaction was too late. A member of staff was already ushering for any two's. I had staggered my turn for just a few more minutes. The carriage noisily started, sped up and disappeared round the corner. I heard screams of happiness and then they were gone. It was finally my turn as a carriage juttered to a halt and a mixed crowd departed, smiled and laughed to each other as they were shown to the photo pick up point. I was piled on with everybody else but when we all had boarded there were still two empty seats in my aisle. ââ¬Å"Any two's, any two'sâ⬠was starting to get annoying. A large man and his girlfriend I assume squeezed past the threes, fours, fives and sixes. They were looking very smug and ecstatic about skipping part of the queue. The large man who I christened ââ¬Ëthe elephant' instantly plumped himself down next to me, nudging me as he struggled to fit. ââ¬Å"Are you excited girl, are you, girl, girl, are you, are you? â⬠It took a lot of effort but I managed to pull a fake smile and blocked out the distant memory of dad shouting ââ¬Å"Girls! â⬠at my sisters and I. The elephant gave a huge grin and I wasn't too happy at the smell of his breath hitting my face every time the wind blowed. We jerked slowly forward and I grabbed the harness in fear, he noticed my anxiety and squeezed my leg in a flirty way. I screamed inside at the thought of this maybe 30-year old man squeezing a 13-year-olds leg. His girlfriend was even there. He apologised though I knew he didn't mean it. After we had sped up and were experiencing the ups, downs, upside downs and all arounds I turned to my right to look at him hoping the wind wasn't in my direction or his mouth was near me. But he had miraculously disappeared. I blinked thinking my mind was playing tricks on me. But â⬠¦ no. He must haveâ⬠¦ Thoughts rushed through my head and the only logical one was he'd FALLEN out. But thinking hard enough about it even that wasn't logical. How would he have fallen out? And wouldn't I have heard something? Was he dead? Or was I dead? Spooky thoughts were taking over my mind. I turned to my right, past the empty seat and the elephant's girlfriend looked at me. She didn't see the emptiness of our aisle to start with but then the empty seat caught her eye. I will never forget the look on that lady's face. It was horrific. Horror and fear must have been rushing through her at 1000 miles per hour at least. The things in the background were completely blanked out as I felt one hundred different emotions for this lady. I'd never felt that way, not even when my father had left me. I tried focusing on a different thought, a happy thought, so I turned round trying to see the three behind us. I strained my neck and was in agony when I finally saw the one, not three bodies in the aisle behind. I blinked. My eyes needed a check up; they were seeing weird, freaky, abnormal things. But however many times I blinked there was still the sight of a young innocent girl crying. Tears pouring, rushing down her face. I knew that there was someone at least one more person on that aisle. It was a man, maybe her dad, I thought as the ride progressed. I shut my eyes and wished that that ride would end immediately. The roller coaster drew to an end and I had done it, without my mother by my side. This was a wonderful accomplishment and how my sister would be proud. Little Lucy would be so joyful and pleased her favourite sister was back. Mel, oh how Mel would be so proud for many reasons. She would be tearful and amazed. Emily, Emily would see no difference in the world, just that everyone was happy. When a toddler's family is happy they are happy. Is that right? I think I read it in a book once. As the carriage was getting slower and slower a couple of questions came to my attention. I'd never missed dad, why hadn't I? Mel and little Lucy had, but why not me? I suppose there was an answer to one of the questions. Melanie, being the oldest at 15 would have the clearest and most happy memories of dad. She'd never thought bad thoughts or if she had then she'd never shown them. She was good at covering her emotions and at the right time and the right place; she was good at showing her emotions. But little Lucy she had only been 4 at the time, but I suppose at four you do remember. Those four years of little Lucy's life had probably been the worst. Full of negative memories of dad, times without a good father figure and long distances between them. It's not good that what Lucy remembers is mostly bad or little about dad ââ¬â she will immediately hate dad or not recognise him if she ever sees him again. That would be awful. I am pleased I have at least some positive memories. I stepped out the carriage and grabbed my bag not noticing how freakily quiet the area was. I ran to the burger bar where Mel had told me they'd be. I looked around squinting and scanning the area. The vision of them not being there will be forever with me. No one was about. I walked up to the kiosk planning to ask a member of staff if they'd seen my sisters. But there was no member of staff. I was scared; where was everyone, there was no one about and I was upset; why would my sisters leave me with no explanation? I looked and looked for maybe three hours not seeing one person anywhere. I hadn't been brave enough to go and look outside the park so I'd completely and purposely not walked past the gates. As I was walking I felt a sharp, ear piercing screaming coming from not a person but from inside me. I'd never felt a similar sensation before. The screaming was of fear and there was a voice; a high toned voice that was saying ââ¬Å"There's something freaky, something real freaky going on here. â⬠As I tried to block out the piercing sound I had a terrifying, terrific, torturing thought that stunned me. Why would I think of such a thing? But that thought went away ââ¬â thank goodness! ââ¬â And I thought happier and more realistic thoughts from that point on. Maybe, I'd just been queuing for hours and the park had shut, my sisters would be waiting just outside the gates for me. I wandered the short distance towards the park gates and was surprised to see the gates wide open. I shrugged to myself and nervously walked through the gates not taking into account the sign that said ââ¬ËSaturdays Open 24 hours'. The screaming of fear inside me had started yet again. As I turned my head, on the look out, my eyes swivelled trying to see through the darkness of that winter Saturday afternoon and the darkness and gloominess of the situation. I spotted an empty bench, which I persuaded myself to sit on. After I had sat down I had a sudden rush of tiredness and as it got the better of me my head hit the cold, hard, wet, brown surface. I had one clear and one more vivid dream. One I understood yet the other was very irregular. Firstly it was my dad; he was in his favourite outfit holding hands with Lucy and Melanie. Emily was tiredly bumping on his back as he walked towards me. Every one of them had a finger or hand outstretched, stretched in my direction. Each and every one of them was saying my name, over and over. The girls were wearing pyjamas and they were all the age they were when dad went. I was walking towards them but they were getting further away. It wasn't right. It was upsetting, distressing and brought back memories. Bad memories. No one was smiling anymore. As I came out of that horrible dream, another started almost immediately. I was on the same bench but I was sitting bolt upright and I was kind of like a robot. A bus came and it was full. Some of the people on the bus I recognised from the theme park like the ââ¬Å"elephantâ⬠from earlier and the young girls dad who was on the carriage behind me. Finally I saw my sisters, Emily, little Lucy and Mel. I suddenly opened my eyes, bringing the dream to an end. But it hadn't. The bus was still there, in front of my very eyes looking beautiful and shiny and not bus-like at all. I could still see some of the people I recognised from the theme park, the ââ¬Å"elephantâ⬠from earlier was the young girls dad was Mel, little Lucy and Emily all smiling and gesturing for me to board the bus. I felt a sensation, almost an urge to get on that bus and I started moving quite quickly towards the bus. Just before I was ushered up the steps of the bus I caught a glimpse at where the bus was going and I was shocked to see it was going to ââ¬Å"Heaven! â⬠I'm now an angel in heaven along with my sisters. I still don't really know what happened that day, I came to the conclusion that we must have just collapsed and the entire roller coaster journey was my imagination. It's just a guess though. My mother is still alive and she's starting another family, but I know she misses us. She goes to our graves every other day and puts fresh flowers each time. My father is still in prison. He has another two years to go. My mother visited him for the first time with the bad news that we have passed away, three sisters died in one day. I couldn't bear look at his reactions, I could have easily. Angel's can float, can fly, can go anywhere they want and can see anyone they want, it's an easy life for an angel. My dad's reaction could have even been a happy one, who knows. Only mum. If I could have done two things differently before I died I would have said my goodbyes, even though I'm here in heaven with my sisters it's my other relatives and friends that I wish that I could have said goodbye too. I would have also died more peacefully and I a way that I knew what was happening. Like dying in your sleep. Like Nana did. Emily is 3 now, little Lucy whose not so little anymore, is 9 and finally Mel is 21. I'm 16 and boy, times flied! I'm having a wonderful time with my sisters. I've really got to know them again. Emily and little Lucy always tell me their dreams. That's the funny thing about heaven, you never forget, anything. Not even your dreams.
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